


Ain’t No Party like a Greendale Party…

by La_Pacifidora



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-26
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 20:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1239193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Pacifidora/pseuds/La_Pacifidora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first signs of life were the scattered notebooks and textbooks on the floor as Jeff neared the cafeteria. He put a hand to one wall, not sure if the distant thumping he could hear was just in his head; but the pounding in the walls convinced him there were people somewhere in the building.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ain’t No Party like a Greendale Party…

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at [Milady/Milord on LJ in November 2010](http://milady-milord.livejournal.com/225946.html).
> 
> Spoilers: Season 2 but nothing specific
> 
> Disclaimers: Not mine. Although I think Dan Harmon knows this friend of mine and based Troy on her… 
> 
> Author’s note: There is no explanation for this. Or perhaps, more accurately: There’s no excuse for this. I’m just happy the show’s gotten an order for more episodes.

It started when Jeff pulled up to his reserved parking space and Zach the lawn maintenance guy wasn’t there to move the traffic cone. 

Zach was _always_ there to move the traffic cone, and Jeff appreciated it, as one has-been-professional to another.

(After all, it was tough when a guy goes through his entire medical residency and becomes an attending only to discover it had all been an elaborate prank orchestrated by a college buddy.)

Jeff put his car in park and hopped out to move the cone himself before getting back in and pulling into his space. He shut the engine off, and stared out through his windshield at the campus, which was strangely quiet and empty looking.

It hadn’t looked like this since last spring, after the Spring Fling Rally had taken such a bizarre and unfortunate turn. 

Jeff climbed out of his car and closed the door, setting his books on the roof while he shrugged on his jacket and buttoned it up against the chill November air. He picked up his books again and stepped away from the driver’s side door, tapping the button on his keychain to set the alarm. He stepped up onto the sidewalk and began walking toward the breezeway that led to the main doors. 

He hadn’t seen anyone yet: Not Abed or Troy sketching out storyboards for their next project; not Pierce trying to chat up the coeds; not Shirley hovering around the edges of her old study group; not Britta glaring at Annie while Annie studied for… _something_ ; not Duncan passed out under a bush; and not Pelton lurking behind a post or a tree, ready to leap out and do something creepy.

Jeff paused as he reached the main doors, looking around in confusion: There wasn’t even any sign of that ginger kid who was always showing up. He frowned and put his hand on the handle, pulling back sharply when the handle vibrated and thrummed.

“I don’t think I like where this is headed.”  
***  
The first signs of life were the scattered notebooks and textbooks on the floor as Jeff neared the cafeteria. He put a hand to one wall, not sure if the distant thumping he could hear was just in his head; but the pounding in the walls convinced him there were people somewhere in the building.

As he passed the doors to the caf, he glanced in and saw more evidence that the Greendale student body had been there at some point: Trays with food on the tables, more notebooks, a dish from the steam table upended on the floor with what looked like peas and carrots spilled across the floor.

Jeff continued on toward the auditorium and dorms, picking his way through the debris strewn over the floor and wincing as the thumping grew louder, becoming identifiable as the bass line of a hip-hop song blaring from someone’s stereo. He rounded a corner, and the murmur of voices and laughter became distinguishable from the music.

He passed by the hallway to the library, and shot a perfunctory glance at their study room, but none of his friends were there.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”  
***  
There were few things as disturbing as watching Joey bump and grind with Dr. Escodera and the Lunch Lady Who Didn’t Like Jeff.

Jeff stood to one side, scanning the crowd of partying students for his friends, but unable to keep from glancing at the raunchy trio to one side. 

“It’s weird, right?” Jeff started and looked over at a petite blonde girl, who had appeared at his shoulder, sipping from a red plastic party cup. “I mean, I know logically, Joey would _never_ cheat on me, and especially not with either one of them – he’s actually got a thing for Helen Mirren – but it _is_ weird, isn’t it?” The girl shrugged and took another sip of her drink. 

“I think the only way that could be weirder is if he were wearing the mascot uniform right now,” Jeff said, trying to figure out where he knew the girl from. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

“ _Uh_.” The girl grimaced. “I’m Jenny Adams?” She frowned when Jeff just shrugged. “ _Your_ friend macks on _me_ , and then doesn’t have the common courtesy to discuss it with his posse? I think I choose to be insulted.” Jenny sniffed disdainfully and turned to walk away, but stopped and turned back. “And you can tell _Abed_ that the next time he wants to flirt with a taken girl, he can pick someone else.”

“ _O_ -kay.” Jeff shrugged.

“You can also tell him that I have a free period from 1 to 2 p.m. on Wednesdays, and I’m usually in the north student lounge.” 

Jeff shook his head in confusion as Jenny walked away and turned to keep looking over the crowd. 

“JEFF! HEY!” Troy was jumping up and down, wearing what looked like a showgirl’s headdress and waving. Jeff nodded and began making his way over.

He walked past a table where Duncan and Professor Whitman were playing beer pong. Then he passed Shirley’s old study group doing body shots with the gay basketball team. Next he ducked the flailing limbs of the campus security guards, who were dancing with Britta’s look-alike from Abed’s movies. He was a yard or two away from his friends when Dean Pelton jumped out, a wild look in his eyes.

“Mr. _Wing-ger_.” Jeff wasn’t sure if the dean was excited or drunk, although the slurred words made him lean well back of the shorter man.

“Dean.” Jeff tried to sidestep Pelton, and scowled when the shorter man jigged to the side to match Jeff’s movement. The dean gave Jeff a coy smile and giggled, slapping at Jeff’s arm and then laying his hand on Jeff’s bicep and squeezing.

“Why, Jeffrey, if you wanted to dance, all you had to do was ask.” 

“Um. _No_.” Jeff shook of the dean’s hand and nearly leapt away.

“Jeff!” The group greeted him as one, with Pierce slapping him on the back while Annie handed him a party cup. Jeff looked down at the cup and then back up at Annie.

“You knew I was coming?”

“Uh.” Annie’s smile dimmed a little. “Actually I got it for Rich? You know, Rich from Pottery Class? But by the time I got back, he had been paged and had to leave. Some sort of emergency at the hospital.”

“Uh-huh.” Jeff sniffed at the cup surreptitiously before taking a sip. “Did he have an emergency pottery-otomy?”

“No, silly.” Annie nudged him with her shoulder and shook her head. “He said he had to do a consult for a colleague of his? A psychiatrist? Harry or Henry or Hannibal or something?”

“ _Right_.” Jeff nodded. “What are you drinking?”

“I don’t know.” Annie hiccoughed and giggled. “But it’s good.” She smiled at him brightly, and Jeff smiled back.

“OH MY GOD!” Britta came bounding over, her eyes slightly glazed. “JEFF! YOU MADE IT!” She flung an arm around Shirley and Troy’s shoulders. “You guys! Jeff made it!”

“Alright, who let the lesbian get drunk?” Pierce asked as he sidled up to the group. “Brittles, you didn’t take anything Leonard gave you, did you?”

“ _Leonard_?” Jeff scowled.

“Yeah, turns out the old bugger used to be a bar tender.” Pierce shrugged and turned to Chang, who was trying to get anyone to join him in the mosh pit of people that were jumping and dancing in the center of the room.

“How freaked out are you right now?” Abed’s voice came from Jeff’s left shoulder, and he turned to find the younger man pointing a camera in his face.

“Abed, put the camera down.”

“Just tell me how freaked out you are right now.”

“Fine: I’m incredibly freaked out.” Jeff put a hand on top of the camera and pushed it down toward the ground. “What the _hell_ is going on? Why is everyone so happy? Did someone pass out Ecstasy in the lunch line?”

“Jeff, why would someone drug the entire student body?”

“It’s happened before.” Jeff shrugged. “Hell, it happened a couple weeks ago.”

“The dean made an announcement earlier.”

“What’d he say?”

“Oh, it’s so nice, Jeffrey!” Shirley cooed, stumbling over to him and latching on to his arm. “It’s such good news.”

“The dean’s leaving, effective immediately?” Jeff batted at Shirley’s pointing finger that hovered close to his eye, and tried to force back the grin as she weaved a little back and forth while she glared at him.

“You! You could stand to be a little less of a jerk, y’know that?” Shirley’s hand dropped, and she prodded him firmly in the chest. “You’re always all, ‘Oh, I’m Jeff Winger, I don’t need people, I hate it here,’ and then the next minute you’re all ‘We have to save Annie! Chang’s gonna kill her!’” Shirley sniffled and turned to Annie. “Annie!”

“Shirley?” Annie turned, stumbling a little. 

“I love you, Annie!” Shirley held out her arms. “Even if you are a little Jewish tramp sometimes!”

“Oh, Shirley!” Annie sniffled and waddled forward to hug the other woman. “I love you, too! Even if you did try to stealth baptize me that one time!”

“Oh, you _guys_!” Britta stood to one side, shifting from foot to foot. “I’m sorry I’ve been so snappish lately. But celery and mustard kind of suck, and I’m always hungry.” She ended on a whine.

“Oh!” “ _Britta!_ ” Shirley and Annie pulled back and opened up the group hug to the blonde, who stepped forward. 

“I love you guys!”

“We love you, too!”

“OK, seriously.” Jeff turned back to Abed. “Is it the end of the world or something?”

“ _Dude_.” Troy appeared next to Abed. “Do you really think we’d all be partying if it’s the end of the world?”

“Are you wearing _glasses_?” Jeff asked, ignoring the younger man’s question.

“ _Yeah_.” Troy shrugged. “You want to make something of it? You got a problem with a brother being an intellectual?”

“Since when do you refer to yourself as a ‘brother’?” 

“It’s something I’m trying out.”

“No, Jeff,” Abed interjected. “It’s not the end of the world. The dean came on the announcement system earlier to tell us that Greendale isn’t closing.”

“Greendale was going to close?”

“Yeah!” Annie stumbled forward and slipped her arm through Jeff’s, staring up at him intensely. “Apparently, between budget concerns – y’know, after the clean up from paintball assassin last year and the medical costs after _someone_ -” Annie shot a glare over at Chang, who was now trying to insert himself between Shirley and Britta, who were dancing, “roofied the _entire_ Halloween party – and the fact that City College and that new distance-learning program from Caltech have been taking away enrollment, the state board of retgens- genrents- _regents_ was looking at shutting us down.” Annie pouted, then frowned. “I think I’m drunk. I usually don’t have any problem saying ‘ret-gen- _regents_.’”

“So, because we don’t have that much money, and we’ve been losing people, some higher power was going to make it impossible for us to come to this ridiculously awful school everyday?” Jeff said, trying to figure out whether he was amused or upset.

“ _Yeah_.” Annie breathed out, burying her nose in Jeff’s shoulder for a moment before pulling away. “ _You smell_ good.” She said quietly and then grinned up at him. “Britta! Where’s Britta? Britta! We need to go shopping and buy celebat-celetrobor- buy ‘we’re happy we still have a school’…somethings. And we can get pretzels! Shirley! Do you want to get a pretzel?” Annie wandered toward the girls, continuing to talk loudly and gesture wildly with her nearly empty party cup.

“And the dean’s announcement was…?” Jeff trailed off, looking at Abed and Troy questioningly.

“We’re not closing!” Troy shouted, turning to give high-fives to a group of GCC football players who were passing behind him.

“What he said.” Abed nodded sagely. “And the news has come early enough in our season-”

“ _Abed_.” Jeff said warningly.

“-year that our respective storyli-” Abed switched words as Jeff cleared his throat. “educational and social experiences won’t seem isolated and out of joint with the rest of our adventures this year.” The younger man cocked his head to one side before a rare smile came to his lips.

“OK.” Jeff nodded and smiled slowly, looking from Abed to the rest of the group, where they were bouncing along to the music. “I guess that’s not so bad.”

“No, man. Not at all.” Jeff turned his head to find that ginger kid standing next to him, blatantly staring at Annie and Britta, who were now in the center of a Shirley and Troy dancing sandwich while Chang and Pierce did the robot to one side. The ginger kid fished his cell phone out of a pocket and aimed the camera at the two girls. “Now _this_ I gotta get a picture of.”

“Hang on a sec.” Jeff glanced from the ginger to his friends and started toward them, reaching back to snag Abed’s sleeve and drag him along. They joined the dancing group, and Jeff called back to the ginger. “OK. Take a picture now!”

The ginger stared at him in disgust. 

“No way man.” He turned away, and bumped into Starburns, who was wearing a Robin Hood hat. “Sorry, Starburns.”

“My name is _Alex_.” The tall man whined. “We’re not going anywhere, so can’t you just get it right?”  
***  
Outside in the parking lot, Zach the lawn maintenance guy wandered past with Sabrina, Dean Pelton’s assistant, both of them giggling madly and singing slightly off key. Zach paused at the end of Jeff’s car and stared at it in confusion.

“Something’s wrong.” He cocked his head to one side before his eyes fell on the traffic cone. “Ah. Here, hold this, babe.” He handed his party cup to the blonde, and walked carefully over to pick up the cone. He placed it at the end of Jeff’s car, and pulled a rag from his pocket to wipe at a smudge on the trunk lid. “There. Perfect.”

Zach and Sabrina wandered through the parking lot, continuing to sing off-key.


End file.
